The source of “me”,a bundle of thoughts is “memory”.Memory is matter. That is why it is stored in brain cells. If we start giving energy to it, the movement of memory veils Self effulgence of “I”-“I”. “I” means movement of memory. Movement of memory is not continuous. So “I” is not continuous. Just as light in candle though it appears continuous is only a series of light, just like series of pictures played on screen appear continuous, “I” seems like a continuous entity. It is a series of discontinuous movements of memory which cause illusion of a continuous entity. If we are aware we will come to know the gaps between movement. As awareness deepens gaps go on increasing. Finally there is only gap in which we exist without any movement of memory. If the gap is prolonged to 48 minutes there is no need of further birth to learn. We have learnt to live in the gap without any thought. This is the moment of Self realization. The gap Self, the “I”-“I”. It is nothing to be acqired. Cessation of movement of memory which is “I” amounts to acquiring “I’-“I” though there is nothing like acquring it.Movement of psychological memory as thought has no role to play in psyche but we are under the illusion that it has role to play and we used thought to solve all human problems with thought resulting in present chotic state of mind and so world. Because thought is divisive in nature it divides mind as polypsychic and such state of mind is projected as world with chotic human society. One man is opposed to another man, one family is opposed to another family, one country opposed to another and piling up armaments to kill fellow human being. There is never single humanity in past. We have divided them using thought. If thought is not there, we can create a mentally healthy human being and so society.Knowing this if we no longer give it energy by disconnecting identity with psychological memory which constitutes the “me”,”I”-“I” which is a living Self effulgent thing reveals by itself. It goes without saying “me” is a dead thing. It is we who are giving energy to a dead thing giving an apparent life to it for millions of years.Time has come to stop identifying with it.Stopping identifying with it is the only spiritual disciple so that we come out of net of “I” and recognize our natural state “I”-“I”.
Verse 10: hasthale manah svasthata kirya Bhakti yoga Bodhasca nischitam
manah svasthata : abidance of mind
hrt sthale : in the heart.
kriya bhakti:yoga of action
yoga bodhah cha: devotion, astanga yoga and yoga of knowledge.
nischitam: it is determined.
Upadesa Saram Verse 10:
“Having subsided in the place of rising in one’s own source of real self is an action (karma) without desire, Bhakti (devotion),that is Yoga (union with God), Jnana (true knowledge).”
A conscious particle from the spiritual heart enters the brain and when it identifies with the body it becomes the “I “thought and creates the illusion of individual self which inhabits the body and identifies itself with all thoughts and perceptions. Upadesa literally means bringing back a thing to it’s place of origin or source. So the goal of self-enquiry is to bring back this conscious particle which is straying with the help of adjuncts in the nonSelf to its source which is spiritual heart. Self-inquiry reverses the process of” I” thought getting identified with all other thoughts and perceptions of daily life as separate entity. If one can break the connection between “I” thought and thoughts and perceptions it identifies with, then the “I” thought itself will subside and finally disappear. This can be done by holding on to “I” thought i.e. inner feeling of “I” or “I am” and excluding all other thoughts. If one can keep attention to the inner feeling of “I” then this conscious particle dissociates from the adjuncts. Then the power of Self pulls the “I” thought back into the heart centre and eventually destroys it so completely that it never raises again. When this happens the concept of individual Self is destroyed once and forever, only Self remains. Thus mind remains subsided in the source of real Self from which it has risen takes the form of Atmakara Vritti and that is the culminating point of Karma Yoga (the path of desire less action),Bhakti Yoga (The path of devotion) Raja Yoga with the methods of mind control and the Jnana Yoga (the path of knowledge through self-enquiry, atma vichara).
Summary of first ten verses of Upadesa Saram:
Bhagawan’s method of destroying the concept of individual Self which is usually called as manonasa or destruction of the mind is scientific and unlike in other methods which are dependent on thought which itself is product of self ignorance, uses awareness in bringing back the conscious particle that is apparently imprisoned in ego and it’s tendencies, to it’s (the conscious particle) source of spiritual heart and make it to permanently abide there so that it never rises as ego again. In this way his approach to Truth is non-traditional and the outlook is above beyond all religions and it is relevant to entire humanity irrespective of their religious background. What is required here is intense and passionate longing for Truth and it will lead us to the truth if we do self-enquiry with such a passion as a drowning man struggles for air. However even though his approach is non-traditional, he never condemned tradition and instead made best use of it by utilizing it for the preparation of the mind for making it fit to do self-enquiry. In this endeavour he integrated Karma, Bhakti, Raja and Jnana yogas. In the first ten verses of Upadesa Saram he described in detail how Karma Yoga and Bhakti Yoga aid in Self-abidance.
Every human being is born with self-ignorance. So he has defects (doshas) of
1) Doer-ship which results in action with desire with eye on the fruit of desire (sakama karma)
2)vibhakti (devotion to his real Self with separative feeling, i.e. God)
3)Viyoga (the feeling of separation from the rest other than his body-mind complex and so he feels that the world is separate and contrary to him and he feels that God is apart from him.4)Ignorance (not knowing the nature of his Self. Because I am confining myself to summarize first 10 verses I will elaborate only on kama yoga and Bhakti yoga with relevance to Bhagawan’s teaching in Upadesa Saram. All these defects occur to “I” thought only.
Karma Yoga to relieve the dosha of sakama karma:- In sakama karma there is the sense of doership with an eye on the fruit of action.
Sakama karma is an attempt to gain happiness in nonself, so sakama karma is born out of Self-ignorance. Self-ignorance is insentient so sakama karma is insentient, jada and so it has no ability to direct or confer the fruit of action. The performer of the work is not the doer and so fruit of action is not in his hands .Fruit of action perishes by enjoying it as pleasure or pain. But having perished thus the fruit of that action will still remain in the seed form as liking to do such an action again and this is called tendency. So tendencies result from action with doership which encourages us for further action thus throwing us into the sea of actions which obstructs our spiritual goal and we are lost in the sea of actions. So sakama karma is Patana karanam ( Action arising from ego leads to fall away from Self) and Gati nirodhakam (keeps us away from self knowledge).So as an antidote to dosha of sakama karma Bhagawan is advising us not indulge in action and to do work expected from you without any desire, without eye on fruit of action, without doership, to offer the fruit of action to God with surrender so that sense of doership is nullified. This type of nishkama karma (Action without an end in view) purifies the mind and it is an aid to keep the mind subsided in it’s source.
Bhakti yoga:- Average human being is more devoted to the whims and fancies of his ego and tendencies and usually prays to God to fulfill them rather than to his true self because he is self-ignorant. Even sakama puja, japa, dhyana does not purify the mind because the ego is strengthened in these in the name of devotion. Puja, japa, dhyana are actions done by organs of body, speech, mind and they should be done without sense of doership or desire, expectation, goal if the mind were to be purified. So devotion must also be desire less(nishkama) so that mind is purified. If this is done with ananya bhava (I am he) the meditator himself becomes nonexistent by merging in the state of being It is beyond the comprehension of thought and thought is not there in that state and is called Bhavanatita sadbhava susthiti.
In no mind state “I” thought loses it’s identity with the body, thoughts, sense perception and becomes conscious of the body, in contrast to body identity previously he had.. Because there is no identity with anything Pure “I” thought is not binding as a burnt rope is not binding as you rightly said. The beauty of no mind state is that it reflects the light of awareness of Pure consciousness even when we are engaged in work in the phenomenal reality. Bhagawan said no mind state is “Self” itself for all practical purposes. Actually mind is insentient and we are imposing life upon it and animating it. Withdrawing that life force which we have imposed on the mind is the goal of spiritual sadhana.
Verse 9: Bhava sunyasad bhava susthitih bhavana balad bhaktir uttama
Bhavana balat : based upon the strenghth of thought [ie, i am he]
sad bhava sustitih: (the meditator gains) firm abidance in the Self.
Bhava sunya : independent of thoughts
Bhaktir uttamam: This is supreme devotion.
Upadesa Saram Verse 9:
“By the power of meditation, devoid of thoughts one is established in true being, and this is supreme devotion.”
The “I” thought (I-am-the-body-idea) arises from the spiritual heart centre, raises to the brain and identifies with the body and imagines itself to be the body.” I-am-the-body” is the primal imagination that thinks all other thoughts. So if we want to be free of thoughts we must be free from “I-am-the-body-idea”. The “I” thought creates an illusion that there is a mind or individual Self (Kinchijna) which inhabits the body and directs all thoughts and actions. The “I” thought accomplishes this by identifying itself with all thoughts and perceptions of the mind. The idea that one is an individual person is generated and sustained by “I” thought and by it’s habit of constantly attaching itself to all the thoughts that arise. If one can break the connection between” I” thought and the thoughts it identifies with them through self-enquiry the “I” thought is deprived of all the thoughts and perceptions that it normally identifies with, then the “I” thought itself will subside and finally disappear. This can be done by holding on to “I” thought and excluding all other thoughts. If one can keep attention on the inner feeling of “I”
we can hold on to “I” thought, then it will start to subside into the spiritual heart centre. Through self-enquiry when we free our mind of all thoughts except the “I” thought, the magnetic power of Self pulls the “I” thought back into the heart centre culminating in the collapse and eventually the “I” thought is destroyed completely and never raises again. When this happens the idea of individual Self is destroyed, only Self remains. This is Bhava sunya sadbhava susthiti. This is supreme devotion says Bhagawan.
Verse 8: bheda bhavanat soham ityasau bhavana bhida pavani mata
“Meditation on the identity of Individual (jiva) and the Lord (Eswara),”I am He” is more purifying than meditation which assumes a difference between them.”
(superior) to contemplation with duality is
Bhavana abhida: contemplation without duality.
sah aham iti : That “He is me”
asau: This (contemplation without duality)
pavani mata: considered as purifier of mind.
Contemplation without duality that “He is me” is considered as greater purifier of mind than that which is based on duality.
Ego is basically finite consciousness. It is Self consciousness “I am” mixed and identified with adjuncts, beliefs, ideas, nationality, caste, creed, race, profession etc. So ego is an affirmation of separateness. Separative feeling is a mirage created by the ego.
The idea of separative feeling is apparent only in the dimension of time and space. The idea of separativeness veils the truth. Separative feeling is a hindrance to spiritual growth. Ego takes shelter in the false idea of being the body and it feels separate from Godliness by contrasting itself with other forms of life. Ego being finite can know only finite things. Ego believe that God and the world to be separate from itself. It reduces God to something being finite. Anything that is separate from anything else is limited and thus necessarily finite. So long as we experience ourselves as a limited individual we feel God is a being who is distinct and separate from us. We limit the infinity of God.
If we know or experience God as anything other than our own essential Self, we are not experiencing him “as he really is” but only as mind made vision (Manomayamam katchi).Though God is visible when we worship him with a separative feeling and there is cleansing and purification of the mind of it’s desire and attachment to worldly pleasures, there is still mistaken experience that we are finite and we are separate from God. Trotapuri removed this type of mistaken experience of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa by conferring him nondual experience of the Self.
The only way to experience the Self is by being it. Literally we cannot experience Self, there is only experiencing. Being as we are is the only means by which we can experience the absolute reality “as it is”. So meditating without separative feeling with strong conviction of “I am He” is superior to meditating with assumption that God is separate from us. With this type meditation of identity of individual (jiva) and the Lord (Eswara) there is disintegration of the ego ending in realizing the Truth.
In complete attention there is no experiencing; there’s no centre which experiences, nor a periphery within which experience can take place. Attention is not concentration which is narrowing, limiting. Total attention includes, never excludes. Superficiality of attention is inattention; total attention includes the superficial and the hidden, the past and its influence on the present, moving into the future. All consciousness is partial, confined, and total attention includes consciousness, with its limitations and so is able to break down the borders, the limitations. All thought is conditioned and thought cannot uncondition itself. Thought is time and experience; it is essentially the result of non-attention.
In complete attention there is no experiencing. In inattention there is; it is this inattention that gathers experience, multiplying memory, building walls of resistance; it is this inattention that builds up the self-centred activities. Inattention is concentration, which is exclusion, a cutting off; concentration knows distraction and the endless conflict of control and discipline. In the state of inattention, every response to any challenge is inadequate; this inadequacy is experience. Experience makes for insensitivity; dulls the mechanism of thought; thickens the walls of memory, and habit, routine, become the norm. Experience, inattention, is not liberating. Inattention is slow decay.
First of all, what is attention? When you attend, that is, when you give your mind, your heart, your nerves, your eyes, your ears, there is complete attention; it takes place, does it not? Total attention is that. When there is no resistance, when there is no censor, no evaluating movement, then there is attention – you have got it.
Nothing takes you from inattention to attention. One is mostly inattentive. If you know you are inattentive and be attentive at the moment of knowing inattention you are attentive.
What brings about total attention? Not any method nor any system; they bring about a result, promised by them. But total attention is not a result, any more than love is; it cannot be induced, it cannot be brought about by any action. Total attention is the negation of the results of inattention but this negation is not the act of knowing attention. What is false must be denied not because you already know what is true; if you knew what is true the false would not exist. The true is not the opposite of the false; love is not the opposite of hate. Because you know hate, you do not know love. Denial of the false, denial of the things of non-attention is not the outcome of the desire to achieve total attention. Seeing the false as the false and the true as the true and the true in the false is not the result of comparison. To see the false as the false is attention. The false as the false cannot be seen when there is opinion, judgment, evaluation, attachment and so on, which are the result of non-attention. Seeing the whole fabric of non-attention is total attention. An attentive mind is an empty mind.
Does God exist? How can there be so much evil and corruption in the world if God exists?
God is a mythical word, a mumbo-jumbo word that is the invention of the priesthood. Actually, to ask whether God exists is absurd. For those who know, God is existence, or existence is God.
Things exist, not God. A chair exists because a chair can go into nonexistence. To say that the chair exists is meaningful because its nonexistence is possible.
God is existence, the very isness. When we say God exists we create something out of the word God, then God becomes a thing. But God is not a thing, nor is God a person. That is why you cannot make him responsible for anything. Responsibility only comes when there is a personality, when there is someone who can be responsible.
God is not a person, he is pure existence. The word is misleading because the word personifies. It is better to use the word existence. The totality of existence is God.
So it cannot be asked whether God exists. That is like asking whether existence exists. Put this way – whether existence exists – the question becomes absurd. Obviously existence exists; there is no question about it. The question cannot even exist if there is no existence, nor can the questioner.
I would like to make it clear that when I say God, I mean existence as such. God is not a thing among other things, God is total thingness. To say that the table exists is the same as saying that the table is God. To say that you exist is the same as saying that you are God. God is the existence. God is isness, the quality of isness, the quality of existence.
First of all, God is not a thing. Secondly, God is not a person because the total cannot be a person. Personality is a relationship. Alone, totally alone, you will not be a person at all, you will be existence itself. That is why those who are seeking the divine tend to go into loneliness. In this way, they can cease to be persons and can become one with existence. Aloneness, absolute aloneness, is a step toward jumping into the abyss of existence.
God is not a person because there is nothing opposite to him, nothing distinct from him. God cannot say “I” because there is no other that exists as thou. He cannot be related to anyone. He is the whole, so all relationships exist in him and cannot exist beyond him.
So if God is not a person, there is no question of any responsibility. If evil exists, it exists. No one is responsible for it. The total cannot be responsible for it.
Responsibility implies that there is a person who can be responsible. A child of four cannot be taken to court because he is not yet a person and therefore cannot be held responsible for anything that he may have done. He is so innocent that even the sense of personality, the sense of ego, is not there. He is not responsible at all, because responsibility comes with ego. Existence has no ego at all – God has no ego at all – so you cannot make him responsible for any evil that exists.
But the human mind is very cunning. First we invent a personified God – we give God a personality – and then we make him responsible for what happens. We go on creating problems that are not problems at all but only linguistic fallacies. Ninety-nine percent of philosophy consists only of linguistic fallacies. If you call the totality, existence, you cannot make it responsible; but if you call it God, then you can make it responsible – only the word has changed.
Existence is non-personal, impersonal. But if God becomes a person, then you can ask, “Why is there evil?” The whole game is being played by you alone; God is not a party to it. When you give existence a name, a personal name, you create problems. These problems are not authentic problems; they are created problems, invented problems.
God means existence. I cannot say that God exists, because that would be a tautology. It would be just like saying: existence exists, or poetry is poetry. It means nothing, it defines nothing, it clarifies nothing, it explains nothing; it only repeats itself.
To me, God is existence, and existence is impersonal. It cannot be otherwise because the total cannot be a person. How can it be? In contrast to whom can it be an individual, a person? In contrast to whose ego can it create its own ego?
You become an ego because other egos exist. Psychologists say that the sense of ego develops in a child later than the sense of the other. First the child becomes aware of others, then he becomes aware of himself. The ego is a later addition.
You cannot become aware of yourself if there is no other. Without the other you cannot define yourself – your definition of yourself comes from the other. Others define you; they make you separate. By knowing others you come to feel your own boundaries. Then you know, “I am here, and I am not there.” Then you know, “This body is mine, and that body is not mine.” Then what is you is clearly defined – defined by other egos. If there were no other, you would never be aware of yourself as a person.
God cannot become an ego. He cannot say “I” because there is no thou: he cannot define himself. God is indefinable because a definition means a drawing of boundaries, and the total has no boundaries at all. The total means that which has no boundaries, the infinite.
We cannot conceive of the infinite – whatsoever is conceivable by the mind is finite. Even when we think about the infinite we conceive of it as a greater finiteness, never as the infinite. We cannot conceive of a boundaryless existence, but it is so nevertheless. Whether you can conceive of it or not makes no difference.
Mind cannot conceive of the indefinable, because mind requires definitions, clear-cut boundaries. That is why God, existence, cannot be understood by the mind.
God is the indefinable. Because we use the pronoun he for a person, we use he for God. But “he” is not correct, because by calling God he, he becomes a person. Still, there is no other way. If we call God it, it may seem better, but since we call things it, God also becomes a thing. Our language is not meant to express the indefinable, so the best we can do is use “he.” But he is not a person at all: he is a no-person, a non-ego. You cannot make him responsible.
If you say that something is bad – that there is evil or there is want – you are saying it to no one. No reply will be given to you from the universe, because as far as existence itself is concerned there is no evil. Evil depends on our attitudes; it depends on our moralistic definitions. For example, you may call someone ugly, but there is no ugliness in existence itself because there is no beauty. The distinction is human, it is not existential. You have made the definition: you have defined something as beauty and something else as ugliness. You have made the distinction and then you ask, “Why has God made ugliness?”
There is no way to decide what is good and what is bad. If there were no human beings on earth, would there be anything good or bad? There would be no good and no bad because goodness and badness are human distinctions, mental distinctions. If there were no human beings on earth would there be any flower that was ugly or any flower that was beautiful? There would only be flowers flowering; the distinction would not be there.
You say “this is evil” and “that is good.” But if, for example, Adolf Hitler’s mother had killed him during his childhood, would it have been good or bad? She would have been a criminal and they would have punished her for it. But now, looking back, we can say that it would have been a most moral act: by killing her child she could have saved the whole world.
No one can know the future. For us, every act is an incomplete act, every act is a fragment. We don’t know the whole so we cannot pronounce judgment on it.
It is just like a page torn from a novel – how can you make any judgment about the novel by reading just one page? You don’t know anything about the novel. This is just a fragment – it has no beginning or end. You will say, “I would like to read the whole story first. Nothing can be said about it otherwise. This page is not enough.”
Words such as good and bad are just expedient, utilitarian; they are not existential. We cannot exist without classifying things as either good or bad because otherwise society would be impossible.
This must be clearly understood. Definitions are not ultimate truths, they are relative. There is not a single act that cannot be considered good in some context. A good deed can be bad in one context and a bad deed may be good in another. If you are to make any final judgment you will have to know everything from the very beginning to the very end – everything in the whole of existence. But of course, this is impossible.
All our statements about good and bad, beauty and ugliness are nothing more than traffic regulations. We have to make them, but they are not ultimate truths. “Keep left” or “keep right” – it makes no difference. But no society can do both: either you have to keep right or you have to keep left. The rule is utilitarian; it is neither natural nor ultimate.
The road is absolutely unconcerned with whether you keep to the right or to the left, but traffic does require certain rules. When there is less traffic you do not have to make any rules; but the more confusing the traffic, the more rules will be needed. In a village there is no need for traffic rules, but in a big city rules are needed.
As society develops in a more complex way, a more clearly defined morality is needed; otherwise you will not be able to live. But these moralities, these conceptions of good and bad, are human expediencies.
When you ask how there can be corruption if God exists, remember: God is not involved at all. There are reasons for corruption, but God is not responsible, the total is not responsible. If responsibility is to be put anywhere, it is to be put on us. We have created a society in which corruption has become necessary because its very base is corrupt. Unless you change the very foundation of society there is bound to be corruption; there has always been corruption. Forms have changed, but the corruption has remained because we have not yet created a society in which corruption is impossible.
This situation is our creation; God is not involved in it at all. It is as much a human creation as this table, this sofa, this house. You cannot hold God responsible for this house or for this room’s being small and not large, or for this window’s facing west and not east. You never ask God, “Why did you build this window onto the east wall and not the west?” That would be nonsense – you know that it is some person who built the window into the east wall. God has never been asked about it, he is not a party to it.
In the same way you can ask why there is corruption, but you cannot make any reference to God. To ask why there is corruption is a pertinent question. But to talk about God in reference to corruption is impertinent. Our society has been made by us – we are the architects of it. And because the foundation of it is wrong, because the base upon which we have built all of society’s structures is not scientific, it is bound to be corrupt. It is a human problem. We can change it or we can prolong it – it depends on us.
For example, our whole education is ambition-oriented. Our whole society is ambitious and an ambitious society can never be anything but corrupt. If you create ambition in everyone, not everyone will be able to fulfill it. You may say that anyone can be president, but only one person can be president at any one time. When you teach that everyone can be president, ambition is created: if everyone can be president then why shouldn’t you be? But since only one person can be president, a mad rush begins. Every means will be used – even evil means will be used.
Ambition corrupts; the ambitious mind is bound to be corrupt. Ambition is the seed of insanity. Yet our whole education is ambition-oriented. Your father says, “Become someone!” and the fever is created – you become diseased. Only one person can be president, and thousands of people who will be unsuccessful are aflame with the same ambition. Then you cannot be sane – you become insane. Because so much tension is created you become corrupt: you will use any means to achieve your goal.
It is infectious. If you see that someone else is using corrupt means you know that if you don’t use them you will be left behind. So you have to use equally corrupt means. Then someone else sees you being unscrupulous, so he has to be unscrupulous. It becomes a question of survival. Nothing else is possible within this framework, this structure. If you look to the very roots of society you will see that corruption is a natural outgrowth of our conditioning, our education, our cultivation.
The complexity of our social structure is such that those who succeed can hide their corruption.
Corruption is seen only when someone fails. If you succeed no one will know that you have been corrupt; success will hide everything. You have only to succeed and you will become a pinnacle of goodness – you will become everything that is good, pure, innocent. That means you can succeed in any way you like, but you must succeed. Once you succeed, once you are successful, nothing that you may have done is wrong.
This has been true throughout history. A person is only a thief if he is a small thief. If he is a great thief, then he becomes an Alexander the Great, a hero. No one ever sees that there is no qualitative difference between the two, that it is only a quantitative difference. No one will call Alexander the Great a great thief because the measure of your goodness is success: the more successful you are, the more good. Means are only questioned if you are a failure; then you will be called both corrupt and a fool.
If this is the attitude, how is it possible to create an uncorrupt society? To ask a person to be moral in this immoral situation is to ask something absurd. An individual cannot be moral in an immoral society. If he tries to be moral, his morality will only make him egoistic and ego is as immoral and corrupt as anything else.
This situation is a human creation. We have created a society with a mad rush for wealth, power, politics; we go on supporting it, and then we ask why there is corruption. Where there is ambition, corruption will be the logical consequence. You cannot check corruption unless the whole basic structure that encourages ambition is destroyed.
Ambition even becomes manifest around a so-called saint. He will incite you to ambition in terms of comparison; he will say, “Become better than others. Be good so that you will go to heaven and be the beloved of the divine while others will be tortured in the fires of hell.” The poison of ambition can easily be used in order to make a person good.
But that is not really possible. A person may be ambitious and bad – that is natural, logical – but he cannot be ambitious and good. It is impossible. If a person wants to be good, he cannot think in terms of comparison, because the flowering of real goodness only comes when there is no comparison.
Comparison is the barrier because comparison creates ego, it creates violence. The moment you say, “I am more humble than you,” you have become violent. You have used a subtle, cunning method that thrusts a knife into the other; you have killed him. The weapon is lethal – and much more subtle than political or capitalist weapons. If you say, “I am better than others, I am more saintly than others,” then the object may be different, but you will be on the same ambitious track. Criminals and sinners are not the only ones who are corrupt; the so-called good people, the “saints,” are also corrupt – in a more subtle way.
Our whole society is corrupt. It creates sinners with ambition and saints with ambition. And they are interdependent, because both exist on the same axis: the axis of ambition. A person who understands this will drop out of society completely. He will be neither a sinner nor a saint – he will not fit himself into any category – and you will be at a loss to measure who he is, what kind of a person he is. We need a society that is non-ambitious.
God is not involved in it at all, but if you are ambitious, even God will become part of your ambition. You will pursue him, you will try to attain to God.
A person who is ambitious is never able to attain to God. He is never relaxed; he is never loving – because ambition is violence. And a person who is not at ease, who is not loving, who is not silent or peaceful, can never know what God is. God is not something that can be known intellectually, he is something that can only be felt.
When you are at ease, totally relaxed, going nowhere – when the mind is still and at peace with itself – then you know what existence is. Then you know the beauty and the bliss of existence. It is not beauty in contrast to ugliness; there is no contrast and there is no comparison. Rather, everything becomes beautiful – the very existence is beautiful. Then a cactus is as beautiful as a rose. Then individuality is beautiful; it is incomparable.
Then for the first time you begin to love. It is not a love that exists in contrast to hate because that kind of love can never really be love; it is bound to be a diluted form of hate, a non-intense form of hate. It is the opposite pole: love exists at one pole and hate exists at the other pole, and you go on wavering between the two. Your hate means less love. Your love means less hate.
You may ask how one can be beyond hate and love. You can only be beyond the duality of love and hate if you are no longer ambitious, if you are no longer tense, if you are relaxed – going nowhere, seeking nothing at all, just being. Then you know God and, simultaneously, you know love. Love is a byproduct of being in tune with the infinite; it follows just like a shadow, it is a consequence.
Buddha never searched for love; love just came to him. Jesus never thought about love; he lived love. The search for love cannot be direct – it is such a subtle perfume that you cannot search for it directly. It comes as a byproduct of the realization that everything is one, a byproduct of comprehending that God exists in your enemy and in your friend.
The moment you become aware that you are not separate from existence, from all that is, that you are a part of it – and not a mechanical part but an organic part, just as a whale is organically joined to the ocean and is one with it all the time, just as my hand is organically one with me – then you can know love.
You can become aware of it only when you are non-ambitious. Only a non-ambitious mind is religious. It makes no difference what your ambition is – whether it is wealth, power or fame, or even liberation or God – if you are ambitious, that means your mind is moving somewhere else, running after something else. It is always busy achieving; it is never just being that which it already is.
Ambition is tension, and tension is the barrier to encountering the divine. Once you encounter it, you are no more – the encounter cleanses you completely, the encounter devours you completely. Only then is there love. The death of your ego is the birth of love.
Ordinarily, we think of love in contrast to hate. But those who know always think of love in contrast to ego. The real enemy of love is not hatred – the real enemy of love is ego. In fact, hatred and love as we know them are two aspects of the same coin.
Love comes when you are not, when the ego is not there. And the ego is not there, you are not, when you are not ambitious. A non-ambitious moment is a moment of meditation. In a non-ambitious moment, when you are seeking nothing, asking for nothing, praying for nothing; when you are totally satisfied with what you are, not comparing yourself with anybody else – in that moment you touch the deep reservoir of the divine. You are not just in contact with it, you are deeply in it: you are one with it.
Then love flows. Then you cannot do otherwise; you can only be loving. Then love is not the opposite of hate. There is neither love as we have known it nor hate as we have known it; both have ceased. Now quite a different quality of love, in a very new dimension, grows in you.
This love is a state of mind, not a relationship. It is not related to anybody; it is not that you love someone; rather, it is that you are loving. The other is not, the loved one is not, you are just loving to whatsoever comes in contact with you. You are love; you live in love. It has become your perfume.
Love is there, the perfume is there, even when you are alone – like a flower on a lonely path. No one passes, but the flower is there with its perfume. No one is there to know, to enjoy, but the perfume goes on silently spreading because it is not addressed to anyone. The perfume is there because that is the manifestation of the innermost nature of the flower. The flower is blissful, and the perfume is part of its nature. There is no effort to spread it – it is effortless.
When ego is not, love comes as a perfume – as a flowering of your heart. Then it goes on spreading. It is addressed to no one, it is absolutely unaddressed. When love is not addressed, it becomes prayer. When it is addressed, it degenerates into sex; when it is unaddressed, it rises to prayer.
God or love or death are not problems to be solved – they are experiences to be passed through. They are not questions that can be answered; they are quests that can either be realized or not. God cannot be made a question at all. Whenever you ask questions about God they are bound to be superficial. And the answers are even more superficial, because a question that is superficial can only be answered with an even more superficial answer.
God is an existential quest; an inquiry, not a question. So there is no readymade answer to the question: Does God exist? Those who give readymade answers to the question do not know anything at all. It cannot be said that God exists and it cannot be said that God does not exist.
Both answers are irrelevant, because no answer can touch the real problem.
The theologies of every religion have become superficial because they have simply become expert in supplying readymade answers: you ask, and the answer is supplied. But this has done a very subtle harm to the religious spirit. These things cannot be answered like that. You cannot ask someone, “What is love?” You cannot ask it! And if he answers, then he is in the same boat as you – neither of you knows.
We want answers because we are trying to escape from the suffering entailed in the process of love, in the process that is life, existence, God. We are riding safe vessels: we want to know so that we will not suffer. But suffering is birth; through suffering there is ecstasy. You have to pass through the dark night of the soul to come to the dawn. You cannot ask what dawn is. You have to pass through the dark night to know it.
God is a search, not a question, and a search cannot be answered. It has to be lived; you have to go into it deeply. You will have to be committed to it; you will have to throw yourself into it. That is what the fear is: throwing oneself into the unknown, the uncharted.
You are afraid, so you sit on the bank and ask questions. And, of course, there are always people who get pleasure out of answering you. To answer someone is ego-fulfilling: you know and the other does not, the other is ignorant and you are a knower. Then this mutual nonsense goes on: someone asks and someone will answer. Both are in ignorance because the problem cannot be solved on the bank. One has to go into unknown waters, and you cannot go into the unknown with readymade answers.
Readymade answers are a barrier to the unknown. One has to go into the unknown in total insecurity, not knowing anything. That is what is necessary – and nothing can be done about it. To jump into the unknown is to come upon the truth, the ecstasy. When you come upon the divine yourself, it is not simply an answer, it is a transformation: you become one with it.
You can never become one with any answer; an answer always remains separate in the memory. You can go on collecting answers and piling them up in the mind; then you know so many answers and yet the question remains the same – it is still not answered.
The question cannot be answered like that. It can only be answered through a mutation. When you encounter the divine directly, immediately – when the divine is before you and you are before the divine with no barrier in between – then you encounter the fire and you are transformed. Then you become one with the divine flame: you and the flame are not separate. Then you never ask, “What is God?” because you are not separate. Then you never answer the question, “What is God?” because you are not separate.
Those who have known have remained silent. They have talked, but they have not given any answer to the question; they have made no statement at all. They have pointed in a certain direction, but to point is not to make a statement, it is just a gesture. Because of the limitation of words, of language – because of the limitations of the human mind, questioning and answering – one can only indicate, one can only point in a particular direction.
God is a living encounter, not a question. And through God, love comes. But one can only come to know God when one is not ambitious. Be non-ambitious and you will know.
Do not define yourself by those who are behind, because no one is behind; or by those who are ahead, because no one is ahead. Do not compare yourself with anybody. You are alone. Only you are like you; no one else is like you. Just be what you are.
That doesn’t mean not to be active. Be active, but only because of yourself, not in comparison to others. Flower by yourself, not in comparison to others. With this attitude, when the mind is completely unmoving, something of the divine will lure you; you will have glimpses.
Once you know the bliss of such glimpses, you will know the nonsense, the absurdity, and the absolutely unnecessary misery of ambition. Then the mind stops by itself. It becomes completely still, silent, non-achieving. In this still moment, the jump comes. And after the jump, there is God. After the jump, there is love – love follows like a shadow.
verse 7: Ajya dharaya srotasa samam sarala chintanam viralatah param.
sarala chintanam: continuous [firmly established, without breaks] abidance as[on] Self.
viralatah : interupted
param: is superior. [meaning continuous abidance is better than abidance with breaks].
ajya dharaya srotasa samam: like a river; a continuous flow of Ghee.
Upadesa Saram Verse 7:
“Like an unbroken flow of oil or a stream of water, continuous meditation is better than which is interrupted.”
Deliberate meditation is mental activity and is always interrupted by thought disturbance due to the influence of innate tendencies. “Me” is the result of desire which itself is dependent on object seen by senses. So “me” is built on sensate value only. “Me” is the result of evolution of body-mind complex and so “me” is time. So “me” is non-Self, so is time. Ego is commonly interested in indulging in sense enjoyment because it thrives on non-Self and such a mind has to be prepared to be one pointed through rituals, Japa, meditation and enquiry. Then mind is gradually emptied of its contents and such a mind has the capacity to meditate without interruption and its attention moves Self wards without any break. Continuous Self ward flow of mind is easy for those who withdraw their attention from nonself and abide in Self and be as Self without any separative feeling. Such a mind is called Atmakara or Brahmakara vritti. This is the goal of all spiritual disciplines
verse 6: uttama stavad ucha mandatah chitajam japa-dyananam uttamam
uttama — superior or better
stavat – than stuti or singing glories
ucha (japa) – loud japa
mandatah – softer (japa)
chittajam (japa) — japa in mind
japa dyanam – japa that is automatic form, inward –literally mental japa
uttamam – is the best
Upadesa Saram Verse 6:
“Better than the best hymns of devotional praise is the repetitive uttering of sacred names in which uttering with low voice(upamsu japa) is better than uttering louder(uchha japa),but best of all is the meditation in the mind(mental japa).”
Describing the greatness of Lord in detail is the best devotional praise. It is better for japa to be done in low voice than loud voice. The aim of japa is to hold on to a single thought thus excluding all other thoughts. As japa progresses mind will be subdued and mind becomes one pointed (Ekagra chitta) and to such a mind, silence of the Self conscious being is revealed which is usually called self knowledge. Japa withdraws our attention from the nonself and withdrawing of attention from nonself amounts to attending to the Self conscious being because awareness falls on itself. Once we learn this skill of abiding and holding on to pure consciousness spiritual progress becomes easy and effortless. Japa should be done with passionate devotion to the truth but not mechanically. Japa should be done with total self surrender (Poorna saranagathi) to have good results. Once we exclude attending to nonself what remains is only the “Self” and to rest in and as Self is the aim of all spiritual disciplines.